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  “Listen, let me call you back,” Kenny cut off my thoughts.

  “Kenny, you can’t call me back! I’m in fuckin’ jail!”

  “Kenny, who that?” a familiar female’s voice sounded.

  “Was that Woo’s girl?” I asked.

  “Um, yeah,” he said.

  “What are you doin’ with her?”

  “I’m droppin’ her off, but listen—”

  “‘Droppin’ her off’? That’s why you rushin’ me off the fuckin’ phone? So you can continue to spend time with a bitch! You know what, Kenny, you ain’t shit!”

  “Leah, chill. Now is not the time for you to be trippin’. I know you probably emotional with all the shit that’s goin’ on, but I’m tellin’ you, it ain’t like what you takin’ it as. Just call me when you get bail so I can get you outta there and we can figure everything out,” Kenny said.

  I huffed and said, “Okay, whatever.”

  Then we hung up.

  “I don’t believe that nigga!” I exclaimed.

  “Well, you sure enough should,” my mom chimed in. How much more shit you plan on takin’ from that man? I mean, really. He been dumpin’ his mess on you damn near y’all whole relationship. And every time somethin’ go wrong, you call me. Well, I don’t know what to tell you anymore. When he cheated on you, I told you to leave him. When he put his hands on you, I told you to stab his ass. Now he got you locked up while he out runnin’ the streets with some chick, and I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, granted, I don’t have no big fancy house and I can’t drape you in a bunch of labels and I can’t put you behind the wheel of no luxury car, but I am ya mother! You can come home! You don’t have to put up with his shit no more!”

  “I know, Ma. I know this. But it’s not that easy. When you love somebody, it’s hard to just pick up and go.” I had to make it seem like it was love. I couldn’t just come out and tell her that the main reason I stayed with Kenny and endured his abuse was because I was financially dependent on him. That was the one thing my mom had warned me of, and I wasn’t in the mood to hear I told you so.

  “That’s only when that somebody you love ain’t yourself, Leah. Trust me, I know.”

  “Time’s up,” the officer called out.

  “Ma, I gotta go. But I’m goin’ call you soon as I can, okay?”

  “All right, Leah. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Ma.”

  I hung up the phone, feeling very emotional. Kenny had fucked me over, and it had my stomach in knots. How could he put this shit on me?

  “Excuse me,” I said to the officer who was escorting me back to my cell.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “Is it possible I can speak to Detective Daily? He told me if I had any information for him to let him know.”

  “I’ll page him.”

  “Thank you.”

  I waited anxiously to talk to the detective who had interrogated me. Finally, the time had come. I was taken out of the cell and escorted to the interrogation room. Detective Daily came in moments after I had gotten situated.

  “Hello there,” he said, taking a seat diagonally across from me.

  I didn’t speak. I just sat there in the chair goin’ over my options in my head. I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing before I opened my mouth.

  “You wanted to talk?”

  “Well, actually I had some questions.”

  “Okay.”

  “When you said everybody cooperated, what did you mean?”

  “Cooperating means you give us all the information we ask for when we ask for it. It’s simple.”

  I took a deep breath and massaged my temples with my fingers.

  “Now, are you ready to cooperate?”

  “I don’t know. I know this system, and I can give y’all all the information y’all want and still wind up doing time. I need to know how I can avoid any jail time whatsoever. ’Cause everybody is lookin’ out for themselves right now, and so I have to look out for me. I have to do what’s best for me, and I’m tryin’ to figure out what that is.”

  The detective leaned forward. His elbows rested on his knees as he folded his hands under his chin. “Well, you know what, Ms. Baker? Today just may be your lucky day.”

  I looked up at the detective. We were eye to eye. The kindness he had displayed earlier suddenly became believable. His blue eyes were filled with compassion. It was as if he knew that I was a puppet for Kenny, he knew that Kenny had been pulling my strings all along. He seemed to be able to see right through the tough facade I had put on. He knew I was vulnerable.

  “How so?” I asked.

  “Well, I may be able to get you a deal that involves no jail time at all.”

  “And what would you need from me?”

  “It has nothing to do with this fraud case.”

  I was perplexed, and it showed on my face.

  The detective continued. “Kenneth Courtland is heavily involved in the drug trade, as I’m sure you’re aware. And he’s someone we’ve been watching for some time now. We really want to nail him, but not on an insurance fraud case.” The detective shook his head. “No, we want him on drug charges and the homicides that are linked to Mr. Courtland’s ruthless practices.”

  A tear escaped my eye as I listened to the detective tell me essentially that I was in love with a monster. I mean, I knew Kenny was into what he was into, but I’d turned a blind eye to its depth. As far as I was concerned, what he did in the streets didn’t affect me. Besides, it wasn’t as if I’d fallen in love with Kenny the drug dealer. Like I said, when I met Kenny, he was nothing more than a wreck chaser—a young guy who was fortunate enough to make a decent living working for his best friend’s dad. So I didn’t feel guilty for falling in love with him. But what I had become guilty of was staying with him once he turned bad. And as the drug game changed him, he changed me. Now here I was, sucked up in his vacuum of heartache, possibly headed to federal prison for some shit he did. I felt low.

  “Ms. Baker, help us help you,” Detective Daily said, patting my hand.

  “I don’t know if I can,” I cried.

  “But do you really have a choice, Ms. Baker? Ask yourself that. What’s goin’ to happen to you if you don’t help us? You’re gonna go to jail, come home, and Mr. Courtland will be with someone else. I mean, the mere fact that he had another girl in the car with you is evidence of that, isn’t it?”

  I nodded as I recalled parts of the three-way call I’d had with my mom and Kenny: Kenny, who that?…Was that Woo’s girl?…What are you doin’ with her?…Now he got you locked up while he out runnin’ the streets with some chick…

  “So what are you going to do, Ms. Baker?” The detective snapped me out of my thoughts.

  “I guess you’re right, Detective,” I mumbled. “I don’t have a choice.”

  With those words I agreed to do something I’d never thought I would do. I agreed to be a confidential informant.

  The detective coached me on what I was to do, say, and look for once I was released and back with Kenny. He also helped me concoct a story to tell Kenny about why I was getting out of jail without having to post bail.

  “Kenny.”

  “What’s up? How much is it?” he asked.

  “It’s steep.”

  “How steep?”

  “Ten percent of two hundred fifty thousand.”

  “Damn, this your first offense! How they goin’ put your bail so high? That’s bullshit!”

  “’Cause they’d rather me take the deal they’re offering.”

  “What kind of deal?” The tone in Kenny’s voice grew somewhat concerned.

  “You by yourself?” I asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, they said they been watching Nasir’s dad for a minute. They said they know of a lot more acts of fraud that go on within his business and wreck chasing altogether. They want me to be an informant against Vic.”

  “Yeah?” he asked.

  “That�
�s what they said. And if I do, they said this case will disappear.” I waited for Kenny’s response. “Without bail,” I added.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yes. So…I need to know what I should do.”

  “An informant, huh?” There was silence. “I don’t know if I want my girl being so close to the law. But you know what, fuck it. I think you should take that route. Give ’em what they want. Shit, save me some money. Plus, I don’t like Vic anyway. He got his shit with him.”

  “What about Nasir? I mean, he is your friend. You don’t feel bad settin’ up his father?”

  “Nasir is his own man, and Vic is his own man. What Vic and I go through don’t have nothin’ to do with me and Nasir. Don’t even worry about that.”

  “What if somebody finds out I’m talkin’ to the cops? You know what they do to snitches in the streets.”

  “If it’s ya time to go, you goin’ go regardless. I wouldn’t even worry ’bout that,” he said.

  Hearing his heartlessness made me sick to my stomach. He was ready and willing to throw anybody, including me, under the bus if it benefited him. That was the final straw. Kenny had showed me his true colors once and for all, and I was determined to show him mine. I loved the man, yes, but at that point I hated him equally. Besides, it was about time I started loving myself more.

  Nasir

  I pulled up to my dad’s shop, and Brock was standing by the door shivering so bad he could barely get his cigarette to his mouth.

  “It’s cold than a mafucka out this mafucka,” Brock said as I got out of my truck.

  “I know. How long you been standin’ out here?” I asked.

  “Since eight o’clock, nigga—the time you was supposed to have ya ass here.”

  “He ain’t bullshittin’, either, ’cause I was out here with him,” another voice called out.

  I followed the voice to Kenny, who was getting out of his Maserati Quattroporte. “I woulda let him sit in my car, but that nigga wasn’t willin’ to put out that cigarette,” Kenny said, giving me a handshake.

  “Hell naw,” Brock agreed. “This nigga be late every morning, havin’ me stressin’. What was it this morning? You couldn’t find ya hair gel?” Brock asked, taking one last puff on his cigarette, then throwing it out into the street.

  “Fuck you, nigga. I got that good shit,” I said, rubbing my palm over my head full of curly black hair. “Ain’t no gel in my shit.” I opened the overhead garage door of the shop, and the three of us went inside.

  “Yeah, whatever, nigga. You got that soul glow shit up in there. Every time you get up off a sofa, it’s a stain where ya head was and shit. That’s how I be knowin’ where you at all the time. I just follow the drip, nigga.”

  “You just mad ’cause ya nappy-head ass can’t get bitches like this curly-head nigga get.”

  “Bitches love a nappy nigga, cuz. I make them feel safe. A curly-head nigga can’t protect them, if need be. And they know that shit, too. That’s why they only fuck with ya type long enough to get pregnant by you, so they baby can have that good shit, then they wind up marryin’ a nigga like me.”

  “So that means I get the pussy and you get the commitment? That sound like a plan to me.”

  Brock put up his middle finger at me and then proceeded to get to work, cleaning and organizing the shop before it opened for business.

  “Y’all niggas crazy,” Kenny commented.

  “That be that, nigga,” I said. “But on another note, what’s up? What happened with that situation?” I turned my attention completely to Kenny.

  “Let’s go in ya dad office,” Kenny said.

  “Cool, but we gotta hurry up ’fore that nigga get here. You know he don’t be wantin’ mafuckas in his office when he ain’t here.”

  “Yeah, especially not me,” Kenny said.

  “So what happened? I see they let y’all out.”

  “Yeah, man, that was crazy. But they basically gave us all court dates. But you know me, I’m goin’ have the top defense team in the city fightin’ that shit. I’ll beat the case. I ain’t worried about that.”

  “That’s what’s up,” I said, rubbing my goatee. “So what got you out the bed this early in the morning? I ain’t seen you at the shop at this hour in years.”

  “I need a favor.” Kenny’s favorite words slid off his tongue.

  I braced myself and then asked, “What’s that?”

  Kenny burst into laughter and then playfully hit me on my chest. “It ain’t nothin’ like that, nigga! Look at you gettin’ all nervous and uptight now when I tell you I need a favor.”

  I laughed back but not as hard. “Naw, I just be waitin’ to hear what you want a nigga to do now, that’s all. You know how you get with ya favors. You never know what you goin’ ask me to do.”

  “I know. I know. I do be comin’ up with ’em, don’t I? But naw, this is somethin’ light.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Won’t you ask ya pop to give my girl a gig?”

  “Leah?” I asked.

  “Yeah. She be buggin’ about bein’ bored and wantin’ somethin’ to do during the day. I figured I would ask y’all ’cause y’all like family, so it won’t be no long, drawn-out application process. Plus, from what I saw today, y’all could use somebody here to open this bitch up on time, ya kna mean.”

  I didn’t respond right away, and Kenny felt the need to fill the dead space.

  “I mean, think about it. Ask ya pop. See what he say and get back with me, that’s all.”

  “All right, yeah, I’ll do that,” I said, walking Kenny out of my dad’s office and to the front door of the shop.

  “Try to get him to do it, though,” Kenny added as he walked over to his car. “’Cause on top of everything, we could really use the extra money, even if it’s just ’til we get enough for the retainer. Wouldn’t wanna have to fight this case with a PD. Shit like that’ll have niggas ready to tell on everybody just for a lighter sentence. Ya know what I’m talkin’ ’bout?”

  I couldn’t help my eyebrows from bending as I deciphered what Kenny was saying. I hoped he wasn’t insinuating that if I didn’t get Leah a job, he would alert authorities that I had a part to play in that shit he got caught up in. I hoped he wasn’t taking things to that level. I mean, granted, he looked out for me in the past, and I owed him for it. But I hated that he took advantage of that fact. And I knew he felt like as long as he had something to hold over my head, he could get me to do just about anything for him. But that wasn’t the case, and I needed for him to know that before things got too out of hand. I needed to nip shit in the butt, and just as I was about to, he called himself, cleaning his shit up.

  “Aww, nigga, I’m just fuckin’ witchu.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t do no shit like that. But please get my girl a gig before she nag me to death.”

  I nodded. “I’m goin’ see what I can do,” I said, still feeling uneasy about the indirect threat he threw at me. He may have said he was joking, but knowing Kenny the way I did, it was no telling with that nigga. He could be a shady mothafucka sometimes.

  Just as Kenny pulled out of his parking spot, my dad pulled in it. The loud roar of the Viper engine stopped abruptly as my dad turned off the ignition and hopped out the truck.

  The first thing that came out my dad’s mouth was, “What was that nigga here for?”

  “Oh, Kenny?”

  “Yeah. What he want?”

  I followed my dad in the shop, walking fast to keep up with his pace. “He didn’t want nothin’ like that. He just wanted me to ask you could you give his girl a job.”

  “What? What I look like, givin’ that nigga’s girl a job? What I look like, givin’ anybody he refer a job? So they can do what he did and jeopardize not only my business but my life! He must be smokin’ dope!”

  “I know. I thought the same thing. But the way he broke it down to me, it ain’t like that,” I said, beginning my attempt at trying to convince my dad otherwise.

  “Yo, where
’s everybody at?” my dad asked as he walked into his office. “It’s ten minutes to nine, and I ain’t got no secretary here to answer them phones that’s about to start ringing, no frame guy, no painter, not even a manager to manage the mafuckas if they was here! It look like I’m goin’ be firing a whole lot of people today!” my dad snapped.

  Then Brock called out from the floor, “I’m here, Vic!”

  “Yeah, just my luck. The mafuckin’ janitor the only mafucka on time in this bitch!”

  I smirked at the insult and reminded myself to bust on Brock about it later. But now was the time to press my dad to give Leah a job. I mean, Kenny said he was joking about rattin’ me out if I didn’t pull strings for him on this, but I didn’t believe his words. His body language said it all. So to protect me, I figured I had to get his girl a job. Besides, Leah was cool peoples. She wasn’t the type to bring drama to the shop like my dad suspected. If anything, she could bring order.

  “The thing is, Dad, Kenny’s girl need to stack a couple dollars real quick. She got some loans or somethin’ she gotta pay back,” I lied. “He said she probably won’t even be workin’ here past a few months. Plus, we could use a good secretary, as you see. And if she could open the shop, that would help, too. That way I can be out chasin’ during rush hour instead of havin’ to be here to open up.”

  Brock butted in as he was emptying the trash can next to my dad’s desk. “Yes, please get somebody else to open up, ’cause he be late every mornin’ and I be freezin’ my balls off.”

  “Janitors don’t talk, they sweep,” I teased Brock.

  My dad sighed and said, “You vouch for this girl?”

  “Yeah. She mess with Kenny, but she’s not Kenny. You know what I mean?”

  “Well, I’m goin’ take ya word for it. But she’s ya responsibility. I’m goin’ need you to bring her up to speed. Even if you gotta leave the streets alone for a week or so to show her what has to be done here in the office, then that’s what you do.”